Je suis désolé. Voici les mises à jour.

I am truly sorry for showing tantrums and not being professional in updating my blog. I let my feelings dominate my passion, again, I'm sorry. But no worries, here I am again updating you guys with my not-so-interesting life. 

Oh yes, just so to note, the post's title is in French which literally means, I am sorry. Here are the updates. I think it's correct, but who cares, I'm allowed to make mistakes on my blog. Just get lost if you think I'm a retard.

Well today's April 1st - April Fool's Day. I used to remember the times I was in high school where everyone tried to fool each other on April Fool's. I, being a little bit ignorant, usually end up being fooled the most. This year, it's a little bit different because I'm neither in college nor in school anymore. But well, of the usually more than 10 pranks I get when I was in school/college, I just got one this year. All thanks to Natasha!

I bet you guys just want to know what she did! (I was so amazed that I tried doing it on Min but well, let's just say not all people are as ignorant as I am, so it failed on Min). Well, she texted me this morning saying KDU had put up my picture on the high achievers board. I'm like wtf! Not only that, she had to emphasize that they used by chubbier days picture! I was really going nuts. So, I returned her text with a phone call - I do this a lot when I have one thousand words to say per second, texting would just use too much time. LOL. Then she went with her prank till at one point she started giggling and said APRIL FOOL!!!. I went 'IDGETTTTTTTTTTT!'. LOL it was hilarious. Thanks babe for starting my day with such a hilarious prank! I had fun.

Min texted me not so long after, so I did the same thing on her, but of course, I failed. I don't do cliche pranks well.

Oh yes Min asked me if I wanted to go for the 2nd World Music Festival this coming May 2nd-4th. Oh wheeness, I would love to go! I'm looking for more friends to go with. I don't know how much are the tickets priced this year, but I guess they're still maintaining the venue at the Taman Kuari, Botanical Gardens, Penang. =) I love the botanical gardens. I should go there often eh, to de-stress. Really. I used to do that a lot when I

was much younger, with my family that is.

Ahh. Anyone up to join me and Min (and some other ex-classmates), do hit me up via the comments section. LOL.

THE POST CRUSH SYNDROME EXPLANATION
Okay, I do owe you guys a little bit of explanation on the lack of updates for the past week or so. To be frank I had a 'love life' crisis. While like I'm famous for, my love life is something I like to keep in private, and I would like it to remain such way.

Just for some of you KPCs who would want to know, the story was something like this:

I had a crush. Crush likes me back. Crush and I both agree that we just have crushes and nothing more. Then we found out the real truth about ourselves and really loved each other, but well both of us were not ready for commitments. It is more like the other party was more not ready, I was in between ready and not ready. What can you expect the person is so much younger? Oh well.

So yes, when I really like someone, and if I don't see a future of being together I get a POST CRUSH SYNDROME which usually lasts up to 2 weeks. This time around, I got over quite fast, thanks to all the good friends I have. I wouldn't say that I'm a 100% okay now, but I think enough to keep me moving forward already. Crap happens.

PHOTOSHOOTS
So when I felt bad about myself during the post-crush syndrome last week, I took my time off a few nights simply for photoshoots. Well, those were done to make me feel better about myself. It's like indulging into chocolates when you're down. My way of doing things is to camwhore to make myself feel better. So there I was preparing my whole wardrobe and myself, to produce not-so-bad home shots. Also, I gave it a shot on basic photoshopping skills to cover ugly walls and to enhance the pictures' quality. In the end, these are the stunning results (well for me at least!).

So anyone up for a shoot with me? I'm planning one with Honey soon. Hope it'll be great.

NOTEBOOK PC MANIA
It's already April now, and I think it's just the right time to place my notebook order. That way, I'll get it somewhere mid-April. Then, I'll have around 4 months to upload vital files and data into the notebook as well as familiarizing myself with the notebook. So, I've begun searching and surveying some models online. At first, I was interested to get a Sony notebook merely because Sony produces stylish looking notebooks through their VAIO lines. However, they tend to lack on features but are overly-priced. So, I looked around other brands as well and two brands finally caught my attention; Dell and Hewlett Packard(HP). Well, Dell has this XPS series, which one of the models in the series is a (product) red™ . It is a little bit pricey, though it's still in my budget. Ahh, talking about budget, mine's about 6K, in MYR. This is of course a full specs notebook, if I were to get the XPS (product) red™ model. It features a 13.3" screen. It's cool and everything, but I still feel it's too pricey for me. Plus, the design is a no-big hoo haa. It's a pretty normal looking conservative type of notebook; though it's red in colour. Picture below:

 

If I don't get this, I might consider two more models from HP. One is really super cool and funky, HP's new dv2800se artist edition notebook. It's a funky notebook, whereby the outer design features a graffiti-like design. The design was inspired from a submission of a 21 year old Portuguese art student. HP and MTV had a contest to design their notebook, and this was their winner. The problem is I'm turning 20 and the design is somewhat more for those still in high school. It's nothing wrong for me to use the notebook, but would it suit the course or the place where I'll be doing my undergraduate. The last thing I want is being laughed at while doing an important presentation in uni merely because my notebook looks pretty not 'serious'. Min told me the same thing as well, I mean it'll not definitely suit my 'job scope' in uni. I'm doing a Maths degree for Pete's sake, and I expect to mingle around with a 80% geek population and 20% funky people. Like they always say, majority wins; like it or not we've got to go with the flow. But again, come to think of it, why the heck would I need to sacrifice something I like for the pleasure of others? So you see, there's a mental conflict in my brain right now. BLUEKKK.

Hence, I went browsing the notebooks the had on HP Malaysia's store. Guess what? I found an exact match to the features of this special edition, just that the one I found does not feature the graffiti design on its outer casing. It's pretty much normal looking. Quite modern but conservative, and I think would fit into the 'job scope'. It has the 'expensive note' impression. I think it's dv2700t. And the price seems very reasonable as well, as it stands at MYR 4999.00. The artist edition is priced at MYR 5499.00. MYR 500 more merely because of the customized special edition design. I'd rather claim the 500 bucks for a quick retail therapy in Pavilion KL. (Speaking of which, my last shopping was in December 2007! I need some new stuff in my wardrobe. Getting bored already!)

Check out the notebooks:

 

 
                                            

On another note, who's interested to buy my Macbook? It's in pretty good condition, with Leopard installed. It's a 2006 model, and it's white in color, I'm looking for someone who could pay between MYR 2500-MYR 3000 for the Macbook. Buzz me if you're interested or  spread the word around if you think you could get someone who's interested to buy. LOL.

YOUTH MALAYSIA JOB
The other day (yes, it's about the post-crush syndrome again), when I was down. I gave some thoughts towards myself and came to a conclusion that too long a holiday actually kills. I mean, yes, I am taking up French, but that's still not enough in keeping my brain active and my body moving. So far, I've been working out and taking up French, and that's basically it. Other activities include SLEEPING, SLEEPING, MOVIES, TV SHOWS, SLEEPING, DVDs, LUNCHES, SLEEPING and OUTINGS. So I really felt useless and becoming even more useless by the days. I called Natasha and MeeChea that night to whine. MeeChea told me about a website for job seekers, asiaparttime.com. She told me to get a job to keep me occupied. It would also enable me to meet new people so that my brain expands rather than shrinks. So I was really up for it. I used to fancy working in the customer service lines, even as a kid. I've always wanted to work as a sales associate in cool boutiques, but well, I just have this fear of having someone I hate coming to shop at my workplace Crazy, that would be really unbearable for me. And because of that wonderful reason of mine, I never had the guts to apply for those kind of jobs. LOL. But how? I needed A JOB.

I don't fancy working at any eateries simply because I fear getting orders mixed up and getting scolded by customers. I mean, I'm not that desperate anyway. Gosh, I fear lots of things, don't I? So well, just for curiosity sake, I logged on the website MeeChea told me. To my surprise they had so many jobs posted there, and stuff you'd never expect. There were vacancies for writers, but most of the job offers were typical and wanted some writing experience or subject knowledge; as in a FORMAL EDUCATION in THE SUBJECT AREA. So I did not possess anything like that, I thought I was just wasting my time. Then, suddenly I stumbled upon a job posting from Youth Malaysia (I then logged on to Youth Malaysia's website). They wanted to hire anyone as long as we're in the youth age group. I was really elated actually. They wrote that they'd pay around RM10-RM50 for articles that they assign us to write. I thought, why not give it a try? And then, I e-mailed the Editor(who seems to be a very friendly person, and to a certain extend nice - I barely know her!) So well, so far, they've just collected recruitment applications and the results would be known end of this week. I hope I get selected to write, because the whole portal seems fun. Although they seem to lack on content as per now, I think it has a great potential to grow in the coming days(or years for that matter). For example look where XFresh has landed, they started with something similar, and in fact when it first intercepted, I was one of the very few people who joined their website. I was busy with school back then, and suddenly the next thing I knew was Xfresh had their own RADIO CHANNEL. I'm like whoa! So I guess, the mindset we need to have is to think beyond expectations and believe in something; never give up the impossible because in the world we love in the impossible are always possible one way or another.

I will let you guys know if I get selected to be a writer on Youth Malaysia. It will truly be an honour, but even if otherwise, I guess at least I tried. =) No harm done.

OUTINGS THAT HAS YET TO BE FEATURED (Pics ONLY- Sorry!)
- Alexis's Birthday
Natasha, Alexis and I hung out the whole day to celebrate Alexis's 20th birthday. She is the first among us three who turned 20! So here you go, HAPPY BIRTHDAY GIRL. We hung out in Gurney, caught a movie! Then we just lepaked in Secret Recipe before going to my house for some lepak session. Later that night after my French class, we had dinner in Gurney drive hawkers promenade.

 

- Old Town Outing
I kind of forgot when I did this, but I guess it should be around a week or two ago. Shazwan demanded I put the pcitures on. So here you go! I went out with the boys for movie(konon), but we were late, so we scrapped off the movie plan. We had a long dinner instead at Domino's. Then we headed to join Alexis and Natasha who were at Old Town(New World Park). Shaz and the boys left first while I hung out with the girls, they sent me back home. Whee!

MOVIES WATCHED
- Water Horse
I watched this over a pirated copy! It was very clear! Apparently copied from the copy the makers sent in for award reviews.  Well, it's not that I support piracy 100%, but well my brother bought it, I can't help it but watch. Plus, we couldn't find the time to go to the box office anyway. It was either he was busy or I was busy, and we both promised each other to catch that movie together. So we did, at 2am on our TV set. LOL. It was a good movie, compared to many of the stupid movies released this time around of the year.

- Spiderwick Chronicles
Do not be deceived by movie trailers. I watched this when I hung out with Alexis and Natasha on Alexis's birthday. Man, we really anticipated it to be really good, noting the fact the trailer seemed very 'magical'. But you know, the movie did not live up to my expectations. Creatures were merely somewhat very bodoh in the movie. Even a 3 year old would find the movie boring. The story line is a little bit draggy though they have interesting ideas along the way. I think the movie is based on a novel, hence they couldn't make it as interesting as it is in the novel, maybe because it'll take too long of screen time.But the ending sucked big time? Wana know what happened? NO, OF COURSE I'M NOT GOING TO WRITE IT! I gave MYR 6.00 to the box office for this, you should too, afterall, for all you know, your cup of tea is my cup of air longkang!

 

NIP/TUCK AND NOVELS
I have yet to start watching the 4th season of Nip/Tuck merely because I have this insomnia problem at night and I tend to sleep a lot during the day. When I stay up at night, I can't seem to concentrate to do something for a period of time. I just get very restless. So yes, until those are rectified, my Nip/Tuck Season 4 would remain in my drawer! =)

Novels? Don't even dare to ask. Painting Mona Lisa and The Glass Palace, well both of those novels are resting quite well in my bookshelf. I have yet to touch them. I don't know when I'll ever finish them. They seem to never get started(or even if I start, they end up only a few pages before I restart from the beginning again). Ahhh!

MS IRA N CHOCS
Ira went to Langkawi the other day. Oh yes, Ira is Inaz's sister. Like I've said both of them are like family to me. And Ira is somewhat like the big sister I never had. LOL. So she went to Langkawi last week with her friends. I followed her to buy her ferry tickets, and even got drenched in the rain! It was fun though. She bought for me chocolates from Langkawi(they're cheaper there!). She's yet to send them to my house. LOL. Can't wait. I need to pass her my pendrive containing episodes of Prisonbreak S3 that I've downloaded. LOL.

FRENCH CLASSES SCHEDULE CHANGE
Last week when I went for my French class, the director at the place told me and my classmate(yes it's just two of us this term for Tues & Thurs classes) that we had to make some adjustments to come on Saturdays for classes. This is because Alliance Francaise cannot accommodate for low enrolment as they would suffer loses. So, rather than having 2+2 and 4 hours options for students to choose from, they are making it only 4 hours available this term, meaning they are cancelling Tues & Thurs classes. But here's where the drama comes! My classmate cannot make it on all of the Saturdays, as she works on Saturdays and classes will clash with her working time. She works every second and fourth Saturdays of every month. Hence, after much discussions etc, the director agreed that we had a special formula where classes on the 2nd and 4th week of every month are conducted on Tuesdays(while others remain on Saturdays). So if I have a class on Tuesdays, they'll be 2 hours per session, whereas if I have classes on Saturdays, they will be 4 hours per session. All in all, instead of having 44 hours for 11 weeks, I will be having 33 hours for 11 weeks. My French tutor claims that it'll be perfectly okay because we're both(my classmate and I) are quite fast learners hence the reduction in hours wouldn't jeopardize the syllabus coverage. LOL. So I'm free on Thursdays from April onwards! I'm looking forward to attend a Saturday class soon, we'll be meeting the original students enrolled for the Saturday classes from the very beginning. We'll also be meeting two of my classmates who attended Tues & Thurs classes for the First Term but joined Saturday classes for the Second Term. LOL. But I'll just meet them on alternate weeks since I'm in this 'special formula' arrangement, along with the earlier classmate. Pretty confusing ey? I know, my maid got confused too. Even I'm confused with the dates, I had to write it down.

LSE REJECTION AND OTHER UNIS UPDATES
I've got my reply from the London School of Economics and Political Sciences (LSE), and it is the first institution that rejected my application. They did not even give me a conditional offer, but I guess they did a favour for me, because now, I don't have to make my mind whether I'll have to choose King's over LSE or otherwise. Now I know where I'm most probably heading; King's!. I do not want to confirm anything yet because I'm still in the midst of submitting documentation and corresponding with the university to finalize my offer. So once everything is official and is in place, I'll announce it on my blog. =)

Pray that everything goes well people! I do want to go to King's. I really do.

Queen Mary has yet to reply(they'll take another decade I suppose).

Others are pretty much the same; Manchester, Birmingham and King's. All have given me conditional offers that I've fulfilled.

Aus univs remain the same, but I did not really bother to keep tab on them merely because they are my back up. So I'm still keeping their offers, just that I'm idle on them. I have till around May/June to do that. So that's cool.

LOVE LIFE DIRECTION
I have no love life. I hope not to have crushes again because it simply kills and it is the only thing that weakens me from my work. I am a workaholic type of a person, I cannot afford to have this one weakness of mine dominate my working habits. I really hope to enjoy my single-ready-to-mingle life, and remain that way for some time (at least till I leave for the UK).

KL TRIP & CELINE DION CONCERT CANCELLED
Oh yes, I don't think I'll be going for Celine's concert. Reasons:
- If I get the 300 bux ticket, it's not really worth it. Seriously, youtube would be better.
- I do not have enough funds to get the 1K ticket. Even if I did, I won't spend it for a mere concert.
- I have no friends to go with, or necessary arrangements done for me to go.

LOL. Anyway, the concert is rescheduled to the 13th. It was originally planned to be held on the 8th. But Celine was down with some throat problems in Australia before her performance there, hence she needed a few days of rest before resuming her Taking Chances World Tour. In fact, the show in Australia was postponed for a few days as well. Better luck next time for me, who knows, there might be future chances of meeting Celine up close. Life's full of surprises and its all about Taking Chances anyway. So I'm taking the chance to miss this concert and hope to attend some of her other performance in the coming years.

I LOVE COOKING AFTERALL
I've been cooking occasionally for the past few weeks. Enjoy the pictures below. Looks like I have a passion in cooking afterall, eyh? Hey, I do cook well okay! Really. I love myself for that.

REVIEW
I have really good friends in life. Friends whom accept me for whom I am, friends who never discriminate me in any way. Non racist. Friends who built me on their blocks of friendship merely based on sincerity. Both boys and girls. I love them. I really do. Thanks for being there all this while. I know I can be a little bit of a nuisance at times, but I'm just human at the end of the day, just like you.

It has been 4 months since I actually finished my A-level. I have 5 more months before going away for quite a long time for my studies. I will miss people back home, in fact, it has sunken these days that every day when I wake up, I'm drawing a day closer to the day I'll shed my tears saying goodbye. It's not that its forever, but WHO KNOWS, like I've said, anything can happen in life. I might settle down there? Maybe. Who knows right? Just know those who are dear to me back home, you guys rock till the end! I'm not running away, but merely taking a break and having a wind of change in my mind. Experiencing something different, out of the norm daily life I've been going through for the past 20 years. I really need to enjoy life, to have people with a higher level of tolerance, to hide from people I despise etc. Ahhh.

I miss my childhood- not the fat days. But the experience of going to a kampung school, where I need not bother about status, what I wore, or how I talked.
I love visiting distance relatives. I love weddings. I love running around. I love the jungle, I love the rain, I love the hills. I love the ambience in my grand uncle's old house in Taiping. It's just spectacular when it rains(and it rains very often there). The clouds, the morning dews, the greenery. I was a kid. I enjoyed. I enjoyed taking bath there, they have ICY COLD WATER running from their taps. And they usually store their water in gigantic clay barrels. They had no fluorescent lights at night, but rather they had the conventional yellow bulbs everywhere. There would be exotic insects coming by the windows, I'd just admire them. I MISS THOSE DAYS.

I don't see my kids(if I ever have kids) doing that. It's a 90s experience in Malaysia. It'll never happen again I know, but it's more of the memories I cherish as a child. I doubt anyone would remember, because it's my childhood and it only left an impact on me. Just like all of you would have your own stories to tell. It's very interesting to see how beautiful life's all planned for us, if you start paying attention to the smallest things in life. Have you ever thought what would you have ended up being if you had taken another path in life?

I'm being very drama, I know. It's my blog. It's my say. =)

Oh well, to end this post, I would want to quote this :
Is it not ironic? We tend to ignore those who adore us, but we adore those who ignore us; We hurt those who love us but love those who hurt us. It is funny that love is like how you can be crazy loving someone so much only to realize they forget to love you back.

Lots of love,
Riz F